Rob's Pile of Transformers: Manic Ramblings

Manic Ramblings and Delerious Ranting
re: BW sux!  G1 roolz!

  As a long-time fan of the original Transformers, I have this to say about
the newer Beast Wars line and show:

1) The toys are simply not comparable to the original first- and second-season
toys.  The original Takara toys were intricately complex replicas of realistic
vehicles, which -- even without the "transforming robot" gimmick -- would
still be marketable as model cars.  The transformations themselves were
intricate and complex.  Furthermore, these toys used high-quality plastic and
substantial amounts of die-cast metal, lending them a weight and quality
'feel' that BW simply lacks.

  Compare Prowl to Cheetor, two comparably priced representatives of their
lines.  The G1 is a realistic police car with rubber tires, clear plastic,
die-cast metal, and numerous types of joints and connections, all of which
operate in perfect interlocking harmony.  Compare this to Cheetor, who is a
blobby cheetah at best, with numerous robot parts showing through, and a
strange-looking hole and gun barrel right under his head.  He contains no
metal, instead being made of plastic with a medium to low-quality feel.  His
weapons are strange derivatives of his animal parts.  His transformation is
modestly complex but largely consists of standing him up on his hind legs;
legs becoming legs simply does not strike me as a particularly creative

2) The G1 show was a fun-filled romp through worlds of all sorts.  It wasn't
afraid to be silly or serious; it very much did its own thing instead of using
derivative references like "transwarp drive".  It had a wide variety of
characters on both sides, and episodes frequently focused on one or two
characters.  Characters often didn't need that much to become strongly
established, however; how long did it really take to figure out what Ironhide,
Bluestreak, Hound, Starscream, etc, were all about?  Compare this to BW, which
is largely a barrage of Megatron gloating and plotting, Dinobot being
honorable, and Rattrap spouting wisecracks; most other characters get guest
appearances for the most part.  Hardly any episode has focused in on one a
single character for any length of time.

3) The entire concept of organic/mechanical fusion as exemplified in BW is
questionable at best.  Are we really to believe that this synth-flesh splits
open or re-seals every time a BW transforms?  That's gotta be some fast-
healin' flesh.  It seems this organic fusion, with its increased vunerability
and depenence on animal instead of vehicle forms, would be a step down the
evolutionary ladder, not up.

4) The BW toys being produced today are so outlandish and gothic that they
hardly deserve to be placed under the Transformers banner.  They are robots,
yet they have shark-like teeth, claws instead of feet, claws (and animal
heads!) instead of *hands*, faces that look more like gargoyles than robots,
and strangely curved and organic forms on parts of their structures that are
supposedly *robotic*.  It hardly seems rational that these organic constructs
would ever evolve from the straight-edged robots of the original Transformers.

Now, THAT is why BW suks and G1 roolz.
Robert Powers of the Ever-Changing .sig
Wondering how many will jump down my throat before reading my second post on
this topic...

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