Rob's Pile of Transformers: Wings Up!

READ the thrilling tale! SEE the battle for correct wing placement!



I WILL kick your ass. WINGS UP!!!
Once upon a time, there was a nice, spiffy little Transformer toy called Transmetal Airazor. Transmetal Airazor was a sleek, flexible, fun toy, and many reproductions of the toy were bought by the boys and girls of the world. Most of the boys and girls were good little boys and girls, and they had great fun with their wonderful new Transmetal Airazors.
WINGS UP!!!
One of those girls, however, was a mean, bad, evil doodyhead named Bobbi.
WINGS UP!!!
The poor Transmetal Airazor that Bobbi brought home with her from the store found that the horrible, horrible Bobbi made a habit of doing something unspeakable: she put Airazor's wings the wrong way!
WINGS UP!!!
For, you see, there were several ways which Transmetal Airazor's wings could be put. They could be put with the tips pointed downwards, toward the ground and the dirt and the worms and hell, or upwards, toward the sky and the clouds and the birds and the heavens. Now, the natural choice was to point them upwards, since this was the way that looked the best, and this was how the many good boys and girls of the land placed them. And the Transmetal Airazors of the land were happy and righteous and just and good.
WINGS UP!!!
But Bobbi was bad and awful, and hated Airazor in her black, black heart. This was because Airazor was not only cool, she was also a babe and a half. Some even said she was a babe and three quarters. And that made Bobbi very jealous, because Bobbi could never hope to be more than a babe and a quarter. "Airazor SUXXORZ, d00d!" said mean mean Bobbi. So, Bobbi took Airazor's and... prepare yourself, for it is oh so awful and dastardly!... she put them POINTING DOWN!!
WINGS UP!!!
This was a bad, evil thing to do to Transmetal Airazor, and it made Transmetal Airazor very sad.
WINGS UP!!!
But the terrible, terrible Bobbi wasn't through yet! "I've put MY Airazor in her place, but out there are dozens of OTHER Transmetal Airazors that lots of OTHER boys and girls have! What can I do? What can I do?"
WINGS UP!!!
Then that dirty dirty Bobbi had a black thought in her black heart: "Why, I shall go onto the Internet! There I can spread my message of Airazor hatingness, and soon everyone will hate Airazor as much as I, and they'll all put her wings pointing down!" This thought filled Bobbi with mean, evil glee.
WINGS UP!!!
So horrid horrid Bobbi went onto the Internet, and began to preach the ways of hating Airazor and destroying the way she was meant to be posed. Her messages were very clever and sneaky, and soon she had fooled other boys and girls into putting Transmetal Airazor's wings down. Soon the land was beset with a plague, a plague of wrongly-posed Airazors, an awful plague from that awful awful Bobbi. Many poor boys and girls, boy and girls with names like Walky and Darkclaw, were fooled by evil, evil Bobbi's evil, evil ways.
WINGS UP!!!
But not all the boys and girls were fooled!
WINGS UP!!!
Out on the Internet, there was one boy, a very very good boy who was as clever and smart as he was good, and not too bad looking if we may say so. This boy read bad, bad Bobbi's bad, bad messages. Now, it so happened that this boy, being smart and clever, was quite fond of Transmetal Airazor. He quickly saw that Bobbi's messages were filled with hate and meanness that Airazor did not deserve!
WINGS UP!!!
"Boy," said the good boy, "someone should teach that Bobbi a lesson!"
WINGS UP!!!
And so the good boy decided: he would challenge the fiendish fiendish Bobbi! He would put a stop to her bad, hateful ways! He would spread the truth to all the boys and girls, that Airazor's wings were meant to point up!
WINGS UP!!!
So the good, good boy, who we'll call Rob, went onto the Internet and answered that dastardly Bobbi!
WINGS UP!!!
Bobbi was very unhappy when this happened. "How can I hope to win against this good, smart, clever, and not too bad looking if I may say so boy, called Rob??"
WINGS UP!!!
But Bobbi would not give up without a fight! She argued against Rob's correct and just words, filling her messages with lies and deceipt! Oh, she was so very very bad, that very, very, very bad Bobbi!
WINGS UP!!!
But her badness was not enough! Her lies were not enough! All her deceipt and trickery and awful, awful evilness were not enough! Bad, evil Bobbi was getting her ass kicked!
WINGS UP!!!
"Grrr!" said Bobbi, for though she was very angry, there was nothing she could do! She had been defeated! And all the boys and girls of the land could see now that she had led them astray, and that Transmetal Airazor's wings should point up. And bad, awful, evil, horrible, terrible Bobbi was cast out and shunned forever and ever!
WINGS UP!!!
And the good, good Rob and all other good boys and girls smiled, and all the Transmetal Airazors of the land kept their wings pointing up, and they all lived happily ever after.
WINGS UP!!!
The end!
WINGS UP!!!


WINGS UP!!!
Back to Rob's Pile of Transformers
WINGS UP!!!
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WINGS UP!!!