Dear Horde of Mindless Drones,

I know not what treachery has been afoot, but I do know that Airazor's foot has kicked my butt -- clear across the galaxy, in fact, to a world called "Naboo". Near as I could tell she was upset that I had not adequately spread the message of "wings up", whatever that means. Once I recovered from an unprotected planetfall, I found that this planet is agreeable enough, though I feel rather inadequate to conquer it without any mindless drones or hordes thereof at my disposal. Hopefully I shall be able to arrange transport back to the Sol system within a short time.

Your Loving General,