Dear Horde of Mindless Drones,

The structure shown here is an Arc de Triomph, or an Arch of Triumph if you do not wish to be befuddled by the arcane and mysterious language of the native inhabitants of this land. It was erected by an ancient general who wished to be hailed for having conquered many of his enemies. I attempted to signify my conquest of this city by rolling beneath it, but I was in emminent danger of being trampled by hundreds of humans milling about its base, and had to abort the mission.

Your Loving General,