General Scavenger's Voyages of Self-Discovery

My human companion has afforded me many opportunities to reconoiter lands ripe for conquest. Some of my findings:

Chicago! A mighty city of the humans.

The city-state of New Orleans, pictured here, has since been destroyed by natural forces. HAW HAW!

Nevertheless, I STILL wish I'd smashed that four-legged, two-headed flesh creature behind me. That thing was slimey!

This grandiose city stands on the eastern edge of the continent. "Philadelphia", they call it. Me, I call it cannon fodder. HAW HAW!!!

I found these mighty steps leading up to a mighty edifice, and I climbed them like the mighty conqueror I am. At the top, I turned and raised my arms in symbolic conquest of the city. I bet none of the stupid HUMANS ever thought to do that! HAW HAW!

The city of Columbus, Ohio afforded me many opportunities to crush buildings, destroy humans, and denounce their free press.

This "Little Rock", though not impressive as a city-state, is the seat of government for an entire province! I prepared to storm their citadel, shown here, and demand the surrender of the population -- but my human companion made me get back in the car instead, saying we had places to be. FOILED!

This city, called Detroit, is a true wonderland, almost like a slice of Cybertron right here on Earth. Where it does not gleam in glorious metal and glass, it stands in rotting decay and abandonment. Beautiful!

Some leader, like a human version of Optimus Prime or something, got himself killed in this city-state, named Dallas. I did not understand the solomn expression of my human companion and his associates. Is not the destruction of noble leaders a laudible goal??

Near my human companion's base of operations, in the province known as Wisconsin, stands this Cheese Fortress. Erm, CASTLE. Cheese Castle.

It does not look like Mars to me, but I long to blast it there! HAW HAW!

The city-state of Shreveport, province of Louisiana -- a dull, uninspiring place, but home to humans of great babeitude.

I was intrigued by this place, apparently a mass-torture facility used to terrify recalcitrant humans into confessing. My human companion refused to stop there, however. Apparently it's expensive to go watch torture victims there!

This region of the continent is known as the Mid West.

It sucks.